Hope

The value and meaning of our lives do not come from our political leaders or from a political party. As I sat back yesterday and read through the many opinions being expressed on social media I couldn't help but think about how much people define their value and worth by their political party and how many people defend and praise one side or the other so much so that they'd be willing to lose friendships and possibly even die over their political beliefs. As I sit back and watch all of the division unfold around me and witness hypocrisy from both political parties and their members it's hard not to feel discouraged. But my hope is not in politics or in people.

My worth, value and the meaning of my life has nothing to do with who is in office or my opinions about who is in office. My value and worth comes from God. He created me and knows every hair on top of my head and He knows the name of every single star in the sky. He cares about me and loves me unconditionally. My hope comes from Christ and the promise of an eternal life, not from broken humans perpetuating a broken system in a broken society. 

I don't want to get all preach-y, but if you can take anything away from this post it's that no matter what, you matter & you are loved. Surround yourself with people who realize and respect that. Take time to talk to the Creator of the universe. Don't get hung up on a broken system or look for your worth in other people or things. You can't control the situations around you, but you can control your own actions and how you respond. Be kind. Spread love, light and truth. 

I created this playlist of songs I find happy & hopeful. Songs that remind me how great life is. Songs that remind me that God's plan is way bigger and better than my own. Songs that make me want to drive down the coast with my windows open feeling the hot summer sun hit my skin (yes I know it's January and it's freezing out) If you have spotify feel free to follow the playlist and listen as a reminder that life is great and amazing because you exist. 

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11

What is Our Friendship Capacity?

What is the magic number? According to British anthropologist Robin Dunbar, the magic number is 5. What am I talking about? Best friends of course! Everyone wants to have friends and be a part of a valuable relationship. But how many friends is too many and how many friends can you maintain stable, healthy relationships with at one time? According to Dunbar's research, a person has the mental and emotional capacity to have 5 extremely close "best" friends, 15 good friends, 50 friends-ish, 150 meaningful contacts, 500 acquaintances, and 1500 people you can recognize. What I found most amazing by this theory was that when studied in the natural world it has found to be true for many different groups of people. A 2008 survey by the Knot found that the average wedding guest list was 148 people, English villages in the 1800's contained an average of 160 residents, today some religious communities such as the Amish may split groups once the community reaches over 150 members, and the owner of Gore-Tex would only hire under 150 employees at each of his factories to encourage better and higher functioning relationships among his employees. 

Although the human brain is an amazing thing that we (as much as we don't like to admit) still don't know a lot about, we do know that it has it's limitations. How many other humans we are able to connect with on an emotional, friendship level is one of those limitations. But with our easy access to social media and the internet, how we interact with people and information is changing and how many people we interact with on a daily basis is changing. I can't tell you how many times my Father-in-law has told me "Daughter, you need to take a break from social media" and as much as I hate to admit it sometimes he is right. We just don't have the capacity to keep up with and process information from 900 of our facebook friends. (After typing this I had to check how many facebook friends I have and I have 959 friends, I love you all, but I can't keep up with all of you.) 

A conversation with a friend mine, Claudia (follow her on IG @beilersinlove) is what sparked my interest on this topic and what prompted me to start researching Dunbar's Theory. During one of our coffee dates she briefly mentioned this theory as we were talking about the information overload we receive from social media. She mentioned that we were never meant to know all of the details of what is happening all around the world at any one point in time. Think about it, while I am sitting in my warm, cozy bed in Pennsylvania, USA I can jump online and read the news from any country or city in the world. If I want to know what is going on in Ireland, Greece, Taiwan, Russia, or anywhere else in the world this exact moment I can look online. However, with social media most of the time we are not out seeking this information it just appears on our timeline. Headlines like "8 Dead in Murder Suicide at Elementary School in Kansas" or "Tsunami Terrorizes Coastal Towns in Japan" although there is nothing wrong with sharing important events, reading these headlines daily overloads our mental capacity, desensitizing us to our own communities news and information. I have included an IG story from Claudia further explaining her research into this as well, I highly suggest taking a look! 

Desensitization was the topic of conversation for my friend Marissa and I this past Friday night when I brought up Dunbar's Theory and the limitations of our own mental bandwidth. I couldn't have agreed with her point more. Seeing devastating and terrible headlines daily from events that happen in places you've probably never been and may never see in person, desensitizes you from the tragic things that happen in your own community and it takes away from the sense of community our society once had. In my observation, the constant bombardment of information plays a huge role in our ability to have compassion, empathy and connection with other people. 

In conclusion I want to encourage you to keep the ones you love close. We NEED friends and human connection, it's a vital part of living a healthy life. However, don't feel like you need to be friends with everyone all the time. It is emotionally and physically draining to be focused on everyone around you and all of the information being thrown at you all of the time. It's healthy to have a balance and it's okay to take a step back from relationships that are draining you of your own mental capacity and energy. And it's the same with information. Technology has allowed us to have access to more information than any of our ancestors ever had. Every now and then take a step back and take time to enjoy what is around you, to enjoy those you love, to care for yourself and to not let your brain go into overload. 

Side Note: This video by Robin Dunbar himself was very interesting and it was cool to hear from the man behind the theory! 

His entire conversation is available on youtube, and I suggest that if you are interested in this theory and hearing more from Mr. Dunbar, you check out his videos on youtube and his research!

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17

January 2021 Playlist

Music has always played a huge role in my life. Curating my own playlists is one of my favorite things to do, I curate my road trips, plane rides and even my own weeding! Music 

Check out my songs of January 2021. This is a collection of hopeful and encouraging songs as well as songs that I've been jamming out to lately that make me feel happy! 

Enjoy and if you have spotify feel free to follow my playlists! 

  

"Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth; break forth into joyous song and sing praises!" Psalm 98:4

Q & A

 As I revitalize my blog I figured I'd post a "get to know me" post. Below is a Q&A of questions I stole off of the internet. Thank you for going on this blog journey with me and hopefully you learn something new about me.

What is your name? 
Samantha Swartz

Are you married?
Yes! 6 years this year!

What is something that surprised you about adulthood?
That no one knows what they are doing. We are all just kind of figuring it out as we go! 

Are you named after someone, if yes then after whom?
Yes, growing up my mom's neighbor was named Samantha and she always liked that name.

Do you love animals, if yes then which one you love most?
YES! I love cats! 

Do you love playing any sports, or just watching it?
I was never into team sports. I did gymnastics as a kid, then many years of dance where I competed for two years, and now I am into golf. I never felt like I was a good enough athlete for a team to rely on me to catch, throw or kick a ball, so I never got into those sports. 

Do you have children? And how many?
Not yet, but I hope to some day.

What is your favorite thing to drink?
Water. It's pretty much all I drink besides an occasional herbal tea and the even more occasional cup of coffee. However, my husband got me a juicer for my birthday so I need to learn how to make amazing fresh fruit juices! 

me in the barn sometime around 1997-1998

What is your fondest childhood memory?
When I think of my childhood the first thing I think of is carelessly running around the farm, playing in the barn, stomping around the creek and playing in the piles of hay bales. I had a pretty good childhood growing up on a farm. 

Do you consider yourself to be an extrovert or introvert?
I am a good mix of both. I have my moments when I am happiest surrounded by my family and friends but I do like to retreat to my house and spend time alone. I took the Myer's Briggs with a therapist in college and I was right between E/I- she didn't know exactly how to categorize me. 

What is your greatest achievement in high school?
I was dance captain for our schools musical. After I graduated I went on to choreograph the musical for two years. It was a ton of fun and challenged me to step out of my comfort zone.

Do you have a fear of anything? 
I have a fear of being unloveable, that everyone I love will eventually stop loving me back and that I will be alone. 

Where do you want to travel?
Everywhere. If I had to jump on a plane somewhere tomorrow (in a world where the world is normal again) some of the places on the top of my list are Ireland, England, Peru, Greece, or anywhere tropical.  

Have you ever been to Europe? Where?
Yes, I studied abroad in Italy. 

Positano, Italy 2014

Do you love history? Did you have high grades in history classes?
I HATED history in school, it was my least favorite subject. I took a few art history courses in college and enjoyed those and now that I am older I love learning about history. I wish I could go back and retake the history classes I didn't pay attention to in high school. 

What is the craziest thing on your bucket list?
There are so many things I want to do that some people may think is crazy. Skydive, learn how to rock climb, bungee jump, etc. 

What is your enneagram?
I am a 9w8. I avoid conflict with others most of the time, but am often at conflict with myself. I can be a fairly unhealthy 8 at times, which conflicts with my 9-ness, which overwhelms me and makes me shut down and internalize everything and then explode. 

When was the last time you cried?
A few days ago. I get intense menstrual pain and the bath water wasn't hot enough so I cried in the tub while cursing Eve for the curse of menstrual pain and the water for not being hot enough. 

Where would you live if you had to stay for the rest of your life?   
Am I allowed to bring my friends and family with me? I'd probably pick somewhere tropical. Give me all the palm trees, hot sun, sand, ocean, steel drums, pineapples, and dolphins

What song do you listen to when you feel sad?
I put on worship music. I currently have a spotify playlist I titled "you are doing okay" that contains a few of my favorite worship songs or songs that remind me the goodness and faithfulness of God. When I feel sad or anxious or fearful I put this playlist on. (Check it out by clicking the link above!) 

If you could only eat one type of food for the rest of our life, what would it be?
Mexican Food, there is nothing better than tacos, quesadillas, nachos, and enchiladas

What’s more important, the journey or the destination?
Both have equal importance, I don't think I could pick one. Where you are going is so important but the journey to get there is what will challenge you, grow you and make you a better person

top left is us with my in-laws, top right with
my family, bottom with Will & Marissa

Who are the most important people in you life and why?
Wow, this is going to be a long answer because I have so many amazing people in my life who I love so much! First is my husband, obviously. If I list out the reasons why I love him and his importance in my life this blog post will be too long and mushy. Next is my family as they support me and love me including my in-laws who have treated me like their own daughter since the beginning of Josh and I's relationship. Their unconditional love and kindness is a huge example of Christ's love for us and I am forever thankful for their influence in my life. Our closest friends definitely deserve a shout out on here too. Will and Marissa have been there for us both since college. Our friendship has grown and matured so much over the years and I am so thankful for the both of them and thankful that we only live a few blocks away from each other! I know there are many more people who play important roles in my life one way or another, but I don't want this answer to be too long. 

What is the weirdest thing you've eaten? 
I accidently ate octopus when I was Italy, I also had a gator nugget (a chicken nugget but with alligator meat) other than that I have a pretty bland diet of fruits and veggies. 

If you never had to work and money was no object, what would you do with your life?
I would want to travel and immerse myself in different cultures. I would also want to do good deeds everywhere I go, build wells and schools or whatever the community needs are wherever I am in the world. 

Preschool graduation

When you were in Kindergarten, what did you want to be when you grew up?
I wanted to be a teacher. I used to use my Barbie's and dolls and play "school" I ended up interning in an elementary school classroom my senior year of high school, and I really enjoyed it and I think I could have been a good teacher, but I didn't feel like it was the best fit for me. 

What music are you currently listening to? What is your favorite music genre?
This Girl by Lauren Daigle has been my jam lately. I don't think I can say what my favorite music genre is. Music has played such an important part of my life, I often curate playlists based on my moods or events and I listen to and appreciate every genre except country music. Sorry not sorry!

Any last thoughts to leave your readers?
I want to let you all know how much I value and love you. I am excited to be in this life journey with you and I hope you find something encouraging and thoughtful on my blog page! 

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

Fear Not

"for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control" 2 Timothy 1:7

"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand" Isaiah 41:10

It's easy to look around at the world and feel fearful. But God says do not fear. With God we are strengthened, He gave us a spirit of power and love and self control. I know I am not the only one that is quick to act out of my own fear sometimes, but I find that in the moments when I can take a step back, pray and ask for peace I am able to make more level-headed decisions and not react harshly. God never says that we won't be fearful or experience worry, anxiety, etc. but if we trust Him, He will guide us through dealing with these negative emotions and help us find the joy in each day. 

However, when things become too unmanageable and difficult to deal with, it is okay to seek help in the form of a therapist, pastor, counselor, etc. Going to therapy is one of the best things I do for myself. When things feel unbearable, when I struggle to lift my anxieties up to God, my therapist is there to help me look deeper and let go of the negative things I am holding on to. 

My takeaway today is that God did not design us to live in fear. Fear often makes us react harshly and is unhealthy for our wellbeing. Lift your fears and anxieties up to God, who loves you so unconditionally. There is nothing on this planet that surprises God. He knows what tomorrow will look like and what next week will look like, and next month and next year. By worrying about tomorrow we are taking away the joys of today. 

"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand" Isaiah 41:10

He Cares For You

"6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, 7 casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you. 8 Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 9 Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. 10 And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. 11 To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen." 1 Peter 5:6-11 (ESV) 

These verses have been going through my head a lot over the last 36 hours. "Casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you" we are not meant to bear our anxieties, our worries, our fears alone. 

Shortly after I got married my mother in law gave us wall décor that says "Good Morning, this is God, I'll be handling your problems today" I look at that every morning as a reminder that God is in control. He may not handle my problems or anxieties the way I want Him to or the way I think He should, but handing over my anxiety (especially as it relates for my need to be in control) and problems to Him will always have a better result than trying to handle it myself in a worried, frustrated or angry emotional state. God know what we need better than we do. Trust Him. 

1 Peter 5:7